8 Things We Are Totally Over
As podcasters (we host Playing Devil’s Avocado, a podcast for women of our vintage), we talk about ageing every week: the highs, the lows and the laughs that go along with the grey hairs and the mysterious aches and pains. As authors of the book, How Not to Live Your Best Life, we’ve also written about it extensively. And, while we admit that when we were in our 20s thinking about being this age and actually being fine about it would have seemed, well, ridiculous – whaddaya know, here we are! The thought of letting ourselves go a bit would have been anathema, and yet, one of us (Claire) has just eaten an entire large bag of Aldi crisps. Turns out that a benefit of ageing is that you don’t care about many things you used to care about. You’ve run out of f..ks to give, essentially. In fact, we have so few f..ks left, it was hard to narrow down our list, but here are, at least, some things we’ve long given up caring about.
Wasting time Time is fleeting – and finite – and there’s no point sitting around waiting to die. We have a motto of sorts, “Eat the truffles and be nice to your mum”. Basically, grab life with both hands, do ALL the things – and make sure you give your parents (if you’re lucky enough to still have them) quality time. It’s a delicate balance, granted, but it works.
Saying sorry Women over-apologise. In our book, we talk about how we’re programmed to apologise for being too smart or ambitious, and that we’re meant to be kind and empathetic because that’s our lovely flowery, cushion-filled role, whereas men are rewarded for getting to the top without looking back. No more. We have a tip: instead of saying, “sorry I’m late” or “sorry for rambling on”, it’s time to say “thank you for waiting” and “thanks so much for listening”. God, that is empowering.
Being quiet about menopause Did you know, as a 30 year old, for example, what the menopause really was? No. Us neither. If we’re honest, we still don’t really understand the symptoms, the time frame, the anger. The ANGER! If men went through menopause, it would be a spectator sport.
Heels If there’s one thing the delightful cocktail of midlife and COVID has taught us, it’s that life’s too short to wear uncomfortable shoes (or office clothes).
Passive-aggressive work emails Just a gentle reminder, that report you requested with a two-hour turnaround won’t be with you by COB. Should you need further clarification, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Also, as per our previous email, we haven’t got an update on this. Best, Lisa and Claire
Flaky friends Honestly, who’s got the time-slash-energy? If it’s too hard to lock in and stick to a planned catch-up, maybe that’s the universe’s way of telling you it’s time to let it go. Yes, we know you’ve got a lot on your plate, and that’s absolutely totally fine. So do we, TBH. Let’s reconvene in 10 years when our friendship is more of a priority.
Using mid-life women’s names as insults If we see one more Karen meme or clickbait headline we will (insert exploding head emoticon here). Ditto Susan. Also see Brenda. Yawn. Move on, people.
Being told we’re too sensitive. We write about this in HNTLYBL, how, in the new world order, people need to stop saying it like it’s a bad thing. We also list 7 Reasons Being Too Sensitive Is Actually Awesome, which includes having enviable leadership skills, being honest and releasing boys from the oppression of patriarchy, ie, no more macho bullshit. Thank goodness.
Claire Isaac and Lisa Sinclair are the hosts of Playing Devil’s Avocado and co-authors of How Not to Live Your Best Life.
Interview_ Ute Junker
Photos_ Supplied