Earphones And An Ice Bed
You might not be “there” yet (“there” being “in hell”). You might have sidestepped it all together, bar a few bumps. Your menopause may be a walk in the park, or you might be sitting in jail on murder charges. This thing can go either way.
I’m not going to dwell on the mental symptoms I’ve experienced during menopause. I don’t have the time, and I am sure you don't have the inclination to read it all. Instead, I’d like to share a couple of home hacks that have nothing to do with homeopathy or any medical approaches. Just a couple of things I’ve personally found helpful to curb the physical side of things.
Love the layers
It’s long been a necessary indulgence. With my long arms and my big boobs, off-the-rack shirts don’t work for me. (I end up with four boobs instead of two.) Since I hit menopause, that investment has paid off big time. Any time I have a meeting – or any social situation where I don’t want to drown people with my perspiration – I wear a series of layers with the shirt “wrapped” on top. I like to think the look is polished with a side serve of casual. What I like even more is the fact that I can quickly remove a layer or two before a meeting if my internal temperature suddenly shoots from cool to boiling.
Earphones and an ice bed
The reading stack on menopause is high. Given how much I had suffered, I was prepared to invest at least 200 hours reading every word written on the topic. The rub is that by the time the menopause hits, you are probably busier than ever. Single or married, you are likely to be juggling too many responsibilities – possibly including children of varying ages – to take a due diligence approach to the thousands of books on the topic. Go straight to podcasts or Audible and look for the authors that seem to be on your page. Then run a nice long bath or lie down on an ice bed and let them tell you all about it.
“It took a bit of organising, but my husband left for work in the morning and by the time he got home, I had a bathtub installed in our room.”
Soak it off
It’s hard to understand why the body decides to wake up from deep REM sleep at 2am. Every night. For two years and counting. I guess it is a cavewoman response to being so hot. Your subconscious screams, “Fire!” and calls your internal fire brigade to save you from burning yourself down. I decided to deal with this problem the way I deal with most problems – decoratively. It took a bit of organising, but my husband left for work in the morning and by the time he got home, I had a bathtub installed in our room. I had to lose some furniture and pay the plumber a heinous amount, but it has singlehandedly changed my nights. I draw the bath before I go to bed and by the time I need it at 2am, it is stone cold, just the way I like it. I slide on in and let the water do its thing. Is it the submission to the water that makes this so calming and cooling? Who cares? It does the job and after a quiet and quick dry off, it is back to bed where I quickly fall asleep. Yes, this is a dramatic hack. It is neither quick nor inexpensive. But I offer it up to any other sleep-deprived stylists who have plumbers, removalists and bathtub dealers on speed dial – oh, and husbands who sleep with earplugs.
The magic elixir
Some people tackle menopause with the help of “big pharma”. Others use a holistic adviser or a chainsaw. I find comfort in making myself an elixir which I drink every morning. I follow a recipe an Ayurvedic therapist has taught me but try Googling “oxymel”. Immunity boosting is all it is and I take it all year long. It gives me pleasure to take the time to make myself something that no-one else in my family needs or will consume. Watching it prep itself for four weeks on my bench makes me feel like I am investing in self-care. It is the first thing I have when I wake up. Its unusual taste is a shock to the system so early but it is a sure bet that no-one else in your house will drink it. And you can’t say that about a tub of Coyo.
Take two minutes
Why do I enjoy staring at myself in the mirror while I scrape the collected crap from the night before off my tongue? (For the uninitiated Google “how and whys of tongue scraping”). I have a lovely copper tongue scraper I import from my beloved India. I use the time to set my intentions for the day ahead and mentally talk myself off any ledges that the next 10 hours might hold. Staring yourself down seems a good tactic as any when it comes to telling yourself some good things, eye to eye. Removing the crap from your tongue is the bonus.
Words_ Megan Morton
Photo_ Abigail Lynn/UnSplash