Martial Arts Taught Me To Break Through Limits
I had never thought of taking up martial arts. For five years I sat on the sidelines at my son’s taekwondo club – watching him train, on my phone, talking to other mums. I don’t know what it was that made me decide to give it a go, I had just turned 40 but I’m not sure if that’s a coincidence or not.
I was so nervous before my first class. I saw a different side to my 11-year-old son: he told me not to be nervous and that he was proud of me for giving it ago. In martial arts you line up in class according to belt rank, so most of the adults were up the front. I was at the back with the kids. I felt like the Jolly Green Giant.
Martial arts challenges your body in a way it’s never been challenged before. Lifting your leg to more than a 90 degree angle in a high kick – when was the last time you asked that of your body? You have to develop not just flexibility but also muscular strength in your leg, back and core to pull off that kind of manoeuvre.
You can take it slow. You work in stages and that’s one of the reasons martial arts is such a great tool for personal development. You are trying to earn your next belt, so you constantly have a goal to work towards. It’s never audacious, it’s always achievable, and that sense of achievement is what gets you a bit addicted. It isn’t just a sport, it’s a way of life built on traditional values: respect, empathy, compassion. It becomes part of you and how you live your life.
You don’t know what your body is capable of until you ask it. I’ve been blown away by what I’ve been able to achieve. With perseverance, practice, support and encouragement, you are surprised by how far you can go. I got my black belt last year, but your black belt is just the beginning: now the process of mastering and developing your skills really starts.
As women we often limit what we think we can achieve. We turn up with all these hang-ups about our bodies and what they can do; when we’re confronted with a situation that makes us feel uncomfortable, we go scurrying off in a different direction. Martial arts changes that.
I didn’t expect the internal shift. I changed the way I thought about myself. I started reading and discovered there’s something called the Martial Arts Effect, the way that a woman’s perception of herself changes when she learns to defend herself. We feel empowered, we gain more confidence and self-esteem. It isn’t the physical skills, as such, that make the difference. It’s the process of learning – that is where the magic happens.
Some women initially struggle with the idea of tapping into their more aggressive side because they have been conditioned by gender norms. But when you unleash what we all have inside, when you discover the sheer joy of hitting a pad with everything you’ve got – holy smokes, it’s liberating! You get stress relief, you get happy hormones. That one thwack brings a whole range of benefits.
I became close friends with my first training partner and learnt over time that she was being impacted by domestic violence. She needed to set herself up independently and couldn’t afford to come to taekwondo anymore. I was desperate to try and get her back to training because I felt that it had so many benefits for her … the camaraderie, the stress relief, the exercise aspect – she needed it more than anyone.
I decided to raise some money to get her back to training, and that turned into the idea of a taekwondo scholarship for any woman who needed it. I spoke to Australian Taekwondo and it exploded from there. We’ve called it The Pink Belt Project. After six months of fundraising we had raised enough to deliver five scholarships. This year we gave scholarships to 20 women, and for 2021 we have 31 scholarships available.
The feedback has been amazing. One of our scholarship recipients said that her depression was no longer an issue. Another said that one of the biggest barriers she felt while experiencing domestic violence was the sense of isolation. She said that the atmosphere in the club, being part of something, helped her overcome those feelings and develop confidence. I’m looking at doing a research project to collect proper data because I think the potential of martial arts as a therapeutic tool for women is untapped.
Martial arts has changed me. I have a much more go-get-em attitude now. I feel like I’ve proven to myself that living outside the comfort zone is where the magic happens. As adults we focus on our children, on our work and we forget the joy that comes from trying something new and challenging yourself. I’m definitely more open to new experiences.
Interview with Kristie Hitchens by Ute Junker
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