Rituals That Can Heal
Author Anoushka Florence learnt the ancient art of creating sacred places for women after working with a white witch. By Rachelle Unreich
In the early ’90s, when I lived in Los Angeles, an actress friend invited myself and some other women to her house. I can’t remember if there was any preamble, but at some point, we all sat in a circle, the scent of smudge stick weighing heavily in the air. We each took turns sharing feelings, thoughts and emotions, and by the time we were finished, a great relief and sense of repair washed over us all. It was so powerful, in fact, that we would repeat this exercise every couple of months, for a few years. While today I am not in touch with many in that group, there was a sisterhood between us that is imprinted on me.
Anoushka Florence’s book The Women’s Circle is a guide to creating such a circle for women, delving into the ancient origins of such practices and the elements – both the literal ingredients and the intention – used to fill a space. Anoushka suggests some of the best times to host a circle is to mark a change of season or the end or beginning of a cycle of life.
What elements of your background or upbringing influenced you to run – and write about – women’s circles?
Anoushka Florence: I was brought up in an Orthodox Jewish family in which ritual and connection to something bigger than you was embedded. I really learnt the art of ritual, of creating sacred space, of gathering with family and friends and community from very early on. In Jewish tradition different markers during the year call us together seasonally, and also rites of passage – like when a baby is born we have a baby blessing; when a [male] child is three years old, we have a hair-cutting ceremony; when a child is 12 or 13 there is the coming of age blessing. I witnessed these coming togethers of people to create community, to build a safe space for them to be witnesses as they move though their lives, and that definitely inspired my calling to create sacred spaces for women to gather.
How did your first women’s circle come to be? How did it make you feel afterwards?
AF: The first women’s circle I ever held was the first women’s circle I went to, which is crazy but that’s because I was working with a white witch at the time who was passing on wisdom and information about the feminine: how we cycle with the moon, how we used to know how to use herbs to heal, how we could work with cards to receive guidance, how we could work with the moon and the stars to understand more about ourselves. I had a deep feeling in my belly that this wisdom needed to be shared, so I sent out a calling and asked if any women wanted to gather in a circle on a full moon. The response was so beautiful; we sold out. I just remember not sleeping that night, just being so excited by this remembrance, of stepping back into this circle which is the most ancient, feminine sacred space of all. When you step back into it, you feel it, you remember it. It’s in your bones.
How do you explain the pull that women had towards it?
AF: I think the calling to return back to the circle comes from the fact that we’ve never been more connected yet disconnected in society. We’re all thinking that we’re connecting, but we’re not. So there is a longing to truly connect, where you’re given the permission to do that and to be present – away from technology, away from the busy-ness of life, the responsibilities, the culture that demands instant gratification. The circle calls you into stillness to be with one another – and to remember that even though our culture tells us all the answers are out there, they all live within you. The circle is a space of remembering that challenges our modern way of living; it reminds you that you hold everything you need within.
I see there are different suggested circles for different times: the end of a relationship, the death of a child. Do you think there aren’t enough rituals in our lives and why is this important?
AF: Rituals such as marriage, a funeral and even something like a bachelorette party have withstood the test of time. But what I see in our culture is that they are stripped of the deeper symbolism they contained in ancient times. The symbolism of ritual is to make the mundane sacred and therefore we need to seek the sacredness in that ritual. A lot of the rituals in our culture don’t fully serve us or hold us or heal us or support us. We need to bring in the deeper meaning and symbolism in it in order for us to feel healed and supported.
OK, I’m here for this! How do I start?
AF: The easiest way to start is to start exactly where you are and to really tune in to what you’re needing. Why do you want to gather in a circle? What do you want to receive from this space? When your circle is rooted with true authentic intention, it will create the magic and medicine that is needed in that circle. For example, I started because I was seeking out women who were on their spiritual journeys and I wanted to feel less alone on mine, I wanted to feel like there were other women who were feeling their darkness, who were struggling, who were seeking refuge and a place to be held as they journeyed into their own healing. When we came together, that was the medicine, that was the healing. If you are hearing this calling to start a circle, tune in to why you need it. What are you seeking to receive from it? And then create a circle with that intention in mind.
The Women’s Circle by Anoushka Florence is published by Hardie Grant, $32.99.