Jessica Rowe: 7 Reasons I Love Being Older
It doesn’t take long to realise that Jessica Rowe is loving life. It’s not just the broad smile on her face – it’s the relaxed way she sits with me, bantering, trading ideas, a throaty laugh never far away. The 50-year-old television presenter, author and mental health advocate says that ever since she entered her 40s, life has been good.
“It was in my 40s that I realised I was happier than I’d ever been – and it’s just kept getting better,” Jessica says. “What’s so wonderful, so freeing, is that I don’t care what people think. I wasted far too many of my younger years thinking I had to fit in a particular box. Now I know that I’m enough. That’s a comforting, and also a powerful, place to be.”
Here are Jessica’s top seven reasons why getting older feels great.
1. I spend time with the right people
I’m far more discerning about who I spend my time with these days. I can count on one hand my close friends, the people who make me feel good about myself, the ones that get me. My time is precious, so I’m less interested in spending time with people that don’t make me feel great. I spend time with the people who make me laugh, who make my heart sing.
2. I’m not afraid to be eccentric
The older I get, the more I’ve embraced my quirky side. I’ll wear colourful clothes, or sparkles, or sequins, or stupid hats. I’m a crap housewife and I hate cooking, so to entertain myself I try to wear a hat to match my meal. I have a chicken hat for when I do roast chook, a pizza hat for when we get takeaway pizza. I recently made a nachos hat for when I was doing nachos – the hat was better than the nachos. I now embrace that silly part of myself. It’s always been there but I haven’t always embraced it. Now I don’t care what others think: it brings me joy, so I do it.
3. I ask for help when I need it
I’m a passionate mental health advocate, having had postnatal depression with both of my daughters. I struggled to ask for help initially – thank God I did – but now I’m more compassionate with myself. Women sometimes have a tendency to put ourselves last, to not be compassionate with ourselves. We don’t always speak well of ourselves, but I’ve gotten better at that as I get older. My self-talk is far more compassionate.
4. I don’t worry about missing out
When we get older, we realise that some things have to give – and that’s all right. There is a time and a season for everything: a time for career, for family, for your young kids, for your ageing parents. There’s an acceptance that just because something takes a back seat, it doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. It’s still within you – you’re just parking it for a while.
5. I’m happy with the way I look
I have Botox but I do it for me, not because I feel pressure to look a certain way. I got a top-up two weeks ago, and I feel fresher when I get up in the morning. And I’m open about the fact that I have Botox. It’s silly to hide it. We do ourselves and others a disservice when we sprout nonsense like, ‘I drink juice and I wear sunblock and that’s why I look like this’. You’re lying. You get poison injected in your face, that’s why you look like that. If you want to do it, go for it, but don’t lie about it.
6. I’m not afraid to smile at strangers
I’m sure that sometimes people wonder, ‘Why is that woman smiling at me?’ but the way I see it, none of us know what someone else is dealing with. A seemingly small thing – a smile, someone asking how you are, someone telling you they like your shoes – can really put a spring in your step. Connection is really important. It’s also about making time for the people in your life – really listening to them. When they say they are OK, are they really all right? Being there for each other is so important.
7. I’m in a position to help others
I’ve always been one to look out for people but the older I get, the more important that is to me. When I was younger I wasn’t always confident enough to reach out, and I think I also felt a little threatened. You don’t realise there’s enough for all of us. And when you’re older, you are probably in a better position to give support, whether it’s spending your money to help women in business or giving shout-outs on social media. It’s important to do, and I really enjoy it.
Interview_ Ute Junker
Photos_ Carlotta Moye