Six Women Tell: What My Menopause Was Like
Some women go through menopause with barely a symptom. Others find the experience much more challenging. We asked six women who struggled with menopause to share what they went through, and how they found relief.
Marla
Exactly one month before my 50th birthday, my periods stopped. Soon after, I started a new job and had hot flushes through the day and night. They were like a fire that started in my feet and rushed through my body to the top of my head. They only lasted a minute, but they were very distracting at work. My GP put me on antidepressants to stop the hot flushes and it worked, but at no point was I depressed! I stopped taking them after six weeks as they turned me into a zombie. After that, I just put up with the symptoms. I switched to casual work so I had more downtime for exercise, yoga and meditation and I found the symptoms – weight gain, bloating, dry vagina, loss of libido, fatigue, muscle and joint pain and brain fog – were easier to manage. Later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and as a result wasn’t able to take HRT. I also had a fall and broke my wrist and I was diagnosed with osteoporosis. I have started an exercise program specifically for osteoporosis which is helping with the post-break pain.
Tajshmar
I was a little surprised to get my first hot flush at 46, but after reading about other women’s experiences on a menopause support group on Facebook, I learnt that’s totally in the normal range. The hot flushes weren’t much of a bother during the day but then I started to get night sweats that were really bad. I would continually wake through the night. One time, the sweat ran down my body like a waterfall. I wasn’t getting enough sleep, and I decided that combined HRT patches were the go, but my GP refused to prescribe them. She wanted to put me on antidepressants and a diuretic, neither of which I needed, so I didn’t take them. After an appointment with a telehealth service that deals exclusively with menopause, I was prescribed patches which worked wonders for my symptoms. I also use pessaries to treat vaginal dryness and urinary frequency, which work well.
Leah
At 36, my periods just stopped and I went into perimenopause. First, I thought I was pregnant and that terrified me. I was hot for the first time in my life and I started having massive panic attacks, calling an ambulance every couple of days as I thought I was dying, because panic attacks can mirror heart attacks. I read a pamphlet about menopause symptoms in a doctor’s surgery and managed to tick every box, so I got tested and – bingo! I went on HRT which immediately stopped the panic attacks. Once I had a name for the condition and understood that it was a hormonal response, I had a better mental response. At the time, I remember feeling like I had a raging animal inside me, something I could not control. I was on HRT for six months and after that it was all over – I felt normal, and I was thrilled not to have periods anymore. I tell everyone to listen to their bodies and know that no matter what, you’re not going mad.
Jo
As a woman who has had reproductive issues since puberty – including polycystic ovarian syndrome and hirsutism – the thought of going into menopause brought waves of relief. At 44, I’ve now been peri-menopausal for two years. The first signs were subtle: increased anxiety, achy joints and lower body muscular pain. Then I had outbursts of uncontrollable rage combined with sadness, extreme tiredness, weight gain, whole body itching and nausea. I also had diminished thought and verbal processing. As all of this started to happen more often, it occurred to me it could be hormone related and I started documenting my symptoms. I looked to Google. I also spoke to my GP, although he pointed out there was no wonder product [to deal with menopause]. I use an app on my phone called Flo to monitor and manage my symptoms. I take naps and have tried to increase physical activity by way of slow, regular walks or yoga and I take vitamins D and B12, which helps with my energy levels. Sometimes I take antihistamines for itchy skin and I increased my water intake to combat skin dryness. A daily turmeric shot helps with my joint inflammation and I use a product called Happy Greens daily to help my liver metabolise my hormones. My advice to others? Reach out! Talking about it with other women helps us realise we’re not going crazy. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, so you need to find what works for you.
Katherine
Early in my 45th year, I began to feel unwell. My periods were irregular and a girlfriend suggested getting my hormone levels tested. To my shock, the results indicated that I was menopausal. My female GP suggested HRT but I wasn’t interested. The rest of that year was hideous and miserable: I felt like I was wading through sand when I walked – I had muscle and joint pain – and huddled for ages under hot showers trying to alleviate the agony, feeling like a little old lady. It felt like I spontaneously combusted several times a day with hot flushes, and I would soak the sheets every night, leading to sleep deprivation. Extreme emotions? When thrown off the tram for having the wrong ticket, I sobbed uncontrollably. Then there was the brain fog. Finally I took my doctor’s advice and began a low dose of HRT. Miraculously, all symptoms vanished in three days, and years of energy and good health followed. However, after two benign breast lumps were removed, I had to stop taking HRT. My skin aged about 10 years in two! I miss HRT: I felt so good on it, I would still be taking it if I could. Why suffer?
Marg
I had a medically-induced menopause so for me, menopause was a “do you want fries with that?” situation. I was in the final phase of chemotherapy for breast cancer and, all of a sudden, I had night sweats and my periods ceased. Then I couldn’t move properly because my joints hurt and the weight just piled on. It was like all the worst chemo side effects were amplified. That was two years ago. Because my cancer was oestrogen receptive, going into and staying in menopause was a better long-term option for my survival. So post-chemo, surgery and radiation, the hope was that I would remain in menopause and produce a reduced amount of oestrogen. My body, however, had other ideas. When chemo stopped, I was menstruating again. I started to sleep better and the hot flushes were gone. But we had to put my body back into menopause for my treatment, and my symptoms returned with a vengeance. Hot flushes – it sounds so innocent – felt like someone putting a tiki torch to my body and slowly letting the fire spread. I also had emotional mood swings, night sweats, weight gain and depression. Sleeping pills, magnesium, Remifemin, various vitamins and minerals and CBD tinctures have all helped. I’m on a keto diet, I’m fasting intermittently, avoiding alcohol and exercising. The thing that strikes me most is how little menopause is discussed. I’m quite sure if men had to go through it, there would be a federal government department to research it.
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Interviews_ Rachelle Unreich
Photos_ Evie S/UnSplash