“We Knew Each Other Before We Got Grown-Up And Serious”
From carefree times in share flats where dinner was served at midnight, through milestones including the birth of children and the death of parents, lawyer Page Henty and publicist Susie Dobson, both 56, have been there for each other.
Page I would have been about 19, a law student living in a succession of shared houses. When you needed a new place to live you’d often move in with friends of friends and at one point, I ended up moving in with Susie. We lived in Kellett Street in [Sydney’s] Kings Cross, which was lined with late-night cafes where we’d wind up after going out, drinking milky coffee and eating carrot cake. We were both out all the time, would pass like ships in the night, but I remember one night sitting on the kitchen floor with a bottle of vodka talking about everything – that was the first time we really clicked.
Susie We have been friends for so long that the details of those early days have become fuzzy, but what has always been between us is a level of understanding and a lack of judgment – I think that’s why our friendship has survived the very different phases of our lives. We had such great times living together. I remember us going to the movies, to see the Prince movie Purple Rain, and afterwards running through the streets of Kings Cross barefoot, singing the songs. And I remember having a dinner party where I didn’t really read the recipes until I started cooking; it was only then that I realised how long it was all going to take. Everybody got hammered, we ate at midnight – but Page still raves about the fig tart I made that night.
P The thing about our friendship is not just that it’s enduring, but that it’s entirely without angst. We have lived together and lived continents apart. At one stage I moved to New York and Susie lived on the west coast of the US. We both had families by then and I remember one time we took the children to the west coast and had a lovely dinner at their house. Suze bought out Tim Tams for our boys, who had never had them before and they ate them until they were sick. A family dinner is very different to a catch-up that’s just the two of you. I remember thinking, “You’re so fabulous, I wish we had more time together.” But I knew we would pick things up down the road. We don’t fall out of step, no matter how long it is since we have seen each other.
S Our history plays a huge part in our friendship. I lived in America for 27 years, a big chunk of my life. For all that time, I was surrounded by people who knew me as I was then but didn’t know who I had been. When Page and I lived together, her mother and father would come and visit and so would mine. They are all dead now, but we remember each other’s parents. That’s a bond you don’t have with people you meet later in life. We knew each other before we got grown-up and serious and had kids and responsibilities, and those people – the people who knew you when everything was still to come – are really important.
“We’re both quite driven and focused on not being unhappy in our 50s and that has really shaped the decisions we take in our own lives. ”
P Both of our mothers died at 53, which is roughly the age we are now; both of our mothers were also quite unhappy which is something we discuss. I know no one else I can have that conversation with. We’re both quite driven and focused on not being unhappy in our 50s and that has really shaped the decisions we take in our own lives. I feel incredibly fortunate that our generation had so much more choice in our lives.
S Much of the time when we see each other, we’re exercising. Because our mothers died young, we understand that health is really important and that if you want to live long and well, you need to move your body. I get her on the yoga mat sometimes and she has pushed me back into running. We actually went running in the rain at six this morning. She’s the only person who could get me out of bed to go running in the rain. I don’t like running at all. I just like being with her.
P I spend more time with Susie than I do with any other woman, we just enjoy being together. I love her optimism, her bubblyness. She’s a very social person and incredibly warm, but I don’t think everyone realises that she has this great intellect, this wisdom that just lets her cut through completely. She’s also incredibly practical and pragmatic.
S Page is as excellent a friend as you could possibly wish for. She’s fun, she’s clever, she doesn’t take herself seriously, she’s striving all the time to be better. I can see us being very old ladies together, when our respective partners have dropped off the perch. I hope we are – that’s the whole reason we’re doing the running! Sometimes I’ll point out a house and say, “We could live there one day”. I know I’ve got stiff competition – she is very popular. She’s just a special person.
Interview_ Ute Junker
Photo_ Nicholas Samartis