‘What’s My Next Adventure?’: Life Lessons From Tina Nettlefold
Would you be ready for a fresh start at 60? Tina Nettlefold was. Having been an interiors designer, a media director and a mum, she reinvented herself once more, building online platform, T. House, which sells limited-edition homewares to raise funds for organisations doing good. She shares her life lessons with Rachelle Unreich.
Be prepared to pivot
I learnt to pivot from a young age. I once wanted to be a ballerina but after I had a bad accident, I went to university instead. I never think if things go wrong, you go, “Woe is me.” I go, “What’s my next adventure?” I did a bachelor of arts and stumbled into merchant banking and then worked in finance. Even though I was earning good money, I thought, ‘I don’t know if I really want to be here.’ I believe in listening to your gut, following where your passion really lies and I didn’t see my life in banking, so I got into advertising.
If a red flag is waving, don’t ignore it
I dropped an amazing career in Sydney to follow a man to Melbourne. We were meant to get married – wedding dress was there, invitations were out – when he dumped me. It was devastating. What pulled me through was that I found out he had been having an affair, so I thought, “You did me a favour. I dodged a bullet.” There were red flags, but I talked myself out of them, I kept writing them off. You should never do that. Intuition is one of the strongest talents a woman has.
When one chapter closes, another begins
I met my husband very soon after that, and we’ve been together for 30 years. I allowed someone to come into my life six months after I got dumped and 12 months later, we were married. My lesson? Don’t close your heart. I easily could have been bitter and twisted, but I did battle with myself, wondering if I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, good-looking enough. Then I thought, “No, I value myself!” I always look at the positive side.
The best thing you end up doing might not be what you set out to do
My career in advertising really took off and I was the first female media director under the age of 30. Then my husband said, “Do you want to come to Malaysia?” He wanted to build a billboard company in Asia. First I said, “Are you kidding?” but then I said, “Why not?” If I had stayed doing what I was doing, I would not have had the chance to open my eyes to the fact that I wanted a family. It took me three years to become pregnant with my twins. My greatest prize and achievement is being a mother to three children.
““I dodged a bullet … There were red flags, but I talked myself out of them, I kept writing them off. You should never do that. Intuition is one of the strongest talents a woman has.” ”
Work hard, then work harder!
I come from a Greek family and I taught my children that good is never good enough. My father used to say to me, “you have to learn how to work hard – and then when you’re working hard, you say that’s not good enough, I’ve got to work harder!” Don’t ever sit back and think, I’ve done it now. You’re going to have to work harder to keep what you’ve got.
You can’t always juggle
We moved back to Australia when the twins were nine. I maintained creative work via interior design projects but my husband was away twice a month and I was so busy with three kids. I realised I couldn’t do it all, that I was burning out, so, I decided to be a stay-at-home mum. It taught me patience and tolerance. When my kids got older, I started thinking, “Who is Tina?” I was someone’s mother, daughter, wife – but who was I? You can lose your identity.
Your true calling might be right in front of you
We have villas in Bali that I was renovating and I went over to decorate them. I rang a friend of mine back home and said, “I really need to find out who I am. I’m trying to work out what the next stage is. I don’t want to be at home cooking and cleaning and waiting for my husband to get back from work. All I’m doing is going for lunches and going to the gym.” My friend said, “Don’t you think you’re doing what you want to do right now?” She was talking about the decorating, taking what I did as a hobby and turning it into a business. That was a turning point for me. I realised I could create my own product – handbags, cushions and throws – and I knew where to go in Bali to get them made. I set up a little shop at home and sold out of my stuff in two months.
Helping others also helps yourself
When the 2019-2020 bushfires happened, I said to my husband, I’ve got to do something. That’s when I realised how many people were struggling. We had done well financially and I started thinking maybe I could help others in some small way. So when we went into lockdown in 2020 and my 60th birthday celebrations and travel plans came to an end, I decided to retire and turn my business into a not-for-profit. I thought, there are people out there who are needy and I want to help.
You’re never too old
People say things like, “Don’t you think you’re too old to do this?”, but I’ve never believed in age. I’ve never thought being 60 should stop us from doing what we want. I’ve wanted to give some of what I have back. To follow your dream doesn’t take money. It takes belief and confidence in yourself. As older women, we forget who we are. Everyone is born with some gift; the purpose of life is to find out what that gift is.
T. House’s charity partners include EatUp Australia, RCD Foundation and Lighthouse Foundation.