“Long-time Friendships Are Really Special”
Simone (above, right) I was brought up in a sailing family near the ocean, my father was the commodore of the local yacht club, my mum was a sailing teacher. I was quite into sailing until I was about 12, then I no longer wanted to do anything my parents were doing so I got into riding horses. I spent every holidays at horse camp. It wasn’t until I was around 16 or 17 that I twigged that all these young gentlemen who sailed with my dad actually seemed quite nice, and that there was a really social scene with sailing. I got back into it, and it was around then that I met Karen.
Karen We met so long ago that I’m having trouble remembering exactly when it was. I think I was racing on her dad’s boat. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and needed something to distract me. Sailing was my rebound. I was hanging out at the sailing club, she was hanging out there, we ended up hanging out together. A whole group of us did things together: we went to the gym together, we did twilight racing together, we were in a cycling group that went on cycling trips together.
S We both got involved in the social committee and were renowned for our toga parties. We would spend half the season recruiting people to be toga slaves, and then auction them off as slaves for the night. It was a big Cancer Council fundraiser and all in good fun, but we’d probably never get away with it these days. Karen was always so much fun to be around. She can come across as a little vague but she’s really switched on. She just cruises through life. For someone like me, who tends to be an overthinker, it’s great to have a friend who doesn’t let things get to her.
K The reason people warm to Simone is her boundless positive energy and her sense of adventure. She’s always moving on with life. She puts a lot of energy into everything she does. It’s easy to say, “Why don’t we do this?” but Simone is always the one who will make those things happen. Her enthusiasm for life is infectious and she just carries you along. She’s been through some tough times, but she is always looking for a more positive future.
“Something I’ve always treasured about sailing friendships is the rhythm: you turn up Saturday morning, turn off your phone, get on the water and get away from the job, or the family or whatever’s bothering you.”
S Karen’s been an incredible support at various times over the years. In the last two years, I’ve had to have both hips replaced and a lot of people said, “Oh, let me help you out” – Karen was one of the ones who actually came over, cooked dinner, put on a load of washing. COVID also gave us the opportunity to reconnect. When we were all stuck at home, with only six people allowed to come together, a few of us started a dinner party roster, and that was really lovely. Most friendships ebb and flow over the years but I think at this age, you realise that long-time friendships are really special. You value the people who’ve seen you through a lot of life’s dramas.
K Our lives have been quite different. Simone got married quite young and had her daughter Zoe, whereas I’ve never had children. Simone was never one of those mothers whose life revolves entirely around her children. Even when Zoe was a little baby, she would bring her down to twilight racing. She’s managed to balance having a life with bringing up her daughter. Simone has had quite a few knocks in life, as we all have by this age; having been through those things together, there’s a comfort factor between us. We understand each other’s pasts, and that adds a layer to the friendship.
S Something I’ve always treasured about sailing friendships is the rhythm: you turn up Saturday morning, turn off your phone, get on the water and get away from the job, or the family or whatever’s bothering you. You ask each other whether you’ve had a good week but there’s not too much prying, no-one needs to know the details. When you’re dealing with something big, that gives you a chance to feel normal. There are eight of you on the boat and you may not see each other until the next week but while you’re going around the course, you are all working together.
K When you’re sailing offshore, you are focused on what you have to do keep boat going. In light winds, you’re trying to speed up the boat; in heavy winds, you have to cut down the sails to make sure it is safe. You have to work with the people who are there – you can’t have someone on the boat causing drama, or someone who can’t function efficiently. Those people get weeded out quite quickly in sailing.
Interview_ Ute Junker
Photo_ Supplied