The TV Show Starting Conversations About Domestic Violence
Jessica Nitschke was like any twentysomething excited about a new job in a big city. Her young life was full of promise but an innocent right swipe on a dating app changed all that. “In 10 minutes, it had connected me to the profile of the person that completely destroyed my life,” she says in the first episode of See What You Made Me Do, a new SBS-TV documentary series presented by journalist Jess Hill (above), author of the award-winning book of the same name.
Airing on SBS-TV on Wednesdays and on SBS On Demand, See What You Made Me Do includes interviews with grieving families, women who escaped their abusive partners and those advocating for change.
In Australia, on average, one woman is killed by her current or former partner a week while one in six women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by a cohabiting partner since the age of 15.
“It’s grim subject matter, but I hope we’ve also made a documentary that people will want to watch,” says Hill. “We need to address men's behaviour and attitudes and get the heart of why abuse happens.”
Hill has been writing about domestic violence for more than six years. “I became absorbed when I was commissioned to write an essay for The Monthly about domestic violence and discovered that it has less to do with violence than it does with power and control.”
The three-part documentary series not only unravels the scale of the problem but reveals how complicated it is and how it can manifest stealthily via coercive control.
“If your goal is to dominate another human being, the technique of coercive control seems to emerge instinctively,” says Hill. “It involves isolation, degradation and creating a believable threat of violence. We see it deployed by anyone who trades in captivity – cult leaders, sex traffickers and perpetrators of domestic abuse.”
Jessica Nitschke’s abuser built up an atmosphere of fear and terror slowly, and finally was able to push her boundaries back. “A victim of coercive control like Jessica faces a very long recovery,” says Hill.
““Coercive control involves isolation, degradation and creating a believable threat of violence. We see it deployed by anyone who trades in captivity – cult leaders, sex traffickers and perpetrators of domestic abuse.””
It’s not a problem that only affects younger women.
“I got an email from a 70-year-old woman who walked seven hours through the bush to escape her partner,” says Hill. “It’s particularly harder for older women. If they leave an abusive situation there is a higher risk of falling into poverty because many may have never worked.
“It’s very hard to recognise coercive control, especially if you don’t know what it looks like. It can take months or years to see controlling behaviour for what it is and by then leaving may feel too dangerous.”
The series shows how crisis centres such as Victoria’s Safe Steps can help women escape from an abusive partner. All too often, however, a domestic violence situation ends in a tragic news story about murder, suicide and shattered lives for those left behind.
Hill believes there are ways to arrest the damage. “Yes, the problem is solvable, but now we are in a deep crisis at every response point.
“Behaviour change programs for men of 12 to 20 weeks are not enough time to get insight, to get to the root of change.
“We need to invest much more in long-term solutions – talking to young men, [for example] talking about the importance of porn and why some males need control. We need to study the underlying factors that lead to domestic violence.
“Of course, we also need more funding but it’s more about a paradigm shift. Until we see change, we are failing on every front.”
She says approaches such as justice reinvestment – a process in which communities collaborate to drive change – are valuable. She also supports a more holistic approach to the problem. “We need to knock down silos between agencies and create a feedback loop.”
She hopes See What You Made Me Do will highlight the insidious nature of domestic violence and start discussions.
“I”m not surprised [when I read about instances of domestic violence], but I’m still shocked when I hear a story of how precarious a woman’s life can be. It’s just so wrong in a modern society, so unjust.”
*See What You Made Me Do airs 8.30pm, Wednesdays on SBS and NITV. Catch up on SBS On Demand.
May is Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Month | If this story has raised any issues for you, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or 1800 RESPECT, 1800 737 732.
Want more Tonic delivered direct to your inbox? Subscribe here