Going Grey. I Tried
“Bury me brown” has always been the top-line instruction to my family for when I pass. But as I sat, locked down in my room for two weeks, staring at myself in the mirror as my hair got ever greyer, I decided it was time to grow out the dye. Time to live chemical-free with my natural colour.
I would base my new look on those uber-stylish Milanese women wearing Dries van Noten, a red lip and silver ponytails. I started a private Pinterest account of all the sculpture I was going to buy with the thousands of dollars of I was going to save from no longer going to the salon. I told my friends.
As my roots got longer, I looked forward to the turning point that other successfully gone-grey friends had mentioned, the moment – usually at around six centimetres of regrowth – when you can see the caterpillar turning into the butterfly and you resolve never to go back. I rediscovered all my vintage heirloom scarves and bought some fabulous hats, in case there were days when my courage failed me.
I was almost there, another six weeks was all I needed. It was a clear run to the finish. Then I noticed that I’d stopped taking Zoom calls and was avoiding the few social opportunities on offer.
My hairdresser Glenn supplied great counsel. “You are almost there in colour, but how do you feel?”. My voice said “Fine!”, but my inner voice was saying, “I want out”.
“I didn’t realise what you have to give up to go grey; more importantly, I didn’t realise what you have to take up to be a genuine silver fox.”
I didn’t realise what you have to give up to go grey; more importantly, I didn’t realise what you have to take up to be a genuine silver fox. In case you are more salt than pepper and wondering if you should do a little bit more marinating, I offer some of the things I discovered.
Your skin tone and colour has a lot to do with a successful changeover. If you have pink-based skin, like I do, you might need to up the ante on make-up to tonally make your look soft rather than hard. I feel so uncomfortable with make-up on my skin that I only wear it a dozen times each year, occasions such as weddings or press events. Going grey, I looked half-dead most of the time, and felt some relief only when I reached for the make-up. Maybe if I had pushed through, this would have changed, but I disliked feeling reliant on full-face make-up.
I love my clothes. I use them as armour and I mostly wear what I call edible colours: avocado green, persimmon, merlot, lemon, celery, shiraz, lilac, blueberry, tiramisu, marigold. As I reached half-head grey, I found myself going for solid navy, black and white. I love to mix these colours into my look, but don’t feel good wearing them exclusively. I found myself not enjoying putting my clothes together; my whole palette felt off-kilter.
Colour is not the only thing different about grey hairs. They actually have a different texture. I found mine to be quite resistant to holding water or product. They were very pubey, if I may be so uncouth, and quite coarse. Unlike my gorgeous friend Noelle, my greys were not full of body and bounce, giving off reflective light beams in the sun. Maybe yours will be like that. Maybe they won’t. You won’t know until you get to the, fairly committed, six centimetre mark.
I do so little for myself – something I hadn’t realised before. I don't have a speed-dial facialist or an ongoing booking at a nail bar. So the chance to sit, every six weeks, in a serene, light-filled space with a skilled person who knows instantly if I feel like conversation or not and always offers me a tea … that is something I am going to hold on to for a while yet.
The Secret To Going Grey Successfully
I asked Glenn O’Reilly of Mr O Salon in Sydney, who has shepherded many women to a new silver look, to share his top tips for anyone contemplating this step.
Embrace change, but know where you’re headed Many women contemplate going grey because of other changes they notice in their hair. “As we age, our bones shrink and our hair density and texture changes. Many women find they are no longer able to achieve volume or style their hair in the same way. That’s when they start thinking about embracing their natural colour,” says Glenn. But there are, as we know, at least 50 shades of grey, so Glenn encourages his clients to gather images of greys that they love, so they can discuss where they are headed.
Be patient Growing out your coloured hair is a gradual process and is not something you can rush. Many clients will experience unexpected effects along the way. “If you stop colouring your hair, you may find the lack of pigment in the follicle makes your scalp shine through more,” Glenn says. Then of course there is the reality of seeing grey or white strands sprouting from your scalp. “For some clients, I place lowlights along the part line to camouflage the contrast between the old and new hair.”
Consider a new cut “Once the regrowth reaches a certain length, I encourage clients to have a haircut that removes as much of the old coloured hair as possible, so as not to compete with the new colour. It’s this step that often make the difference whether a client ultimately embraces their grey or not,” Glenn says.
Words_ Megan Morton
Photo_ Pantone Megan’s portrait _Tim Swallow